The Wallflower Report

So, Judy watches Lost, a show on Ay Bee See that is called that because “watches, lost” like pretty much sums up what everybody who hasn’t seen every episode does when somebody puts it on in front of them.

Everybody except my friend Paris, that is. I mean, she like totally hates the show or something, she says so all the time, but she knows all the characters and their connections and the extra background info and everything better than Judy does.

So they were like talking about the end of this season which is I guess going to be the end of the show and like they have all these theories about where it’s All Going To End Up and how it’s going to Turn Out In The End. And so Paris goes like, “You know there’s no way they can possibly write a satisfying ending that resolves everything and actually makes more than one small section of the rabid fans happy.”

And Judy’s like, “Yeah, at this point I’ve given up on the idea that we’ll ever get all the answers. If they give us more resolution than The Sopranos, I’ll be happy.” and that started a whole big argument between them when Paris asked Judy what it said that she had to lower her expectations so far for her “favorite” TV show and Judy saying something about Paris pretending she was above it all and me saying something about stealing their identities if they were too busy arguing about a stupid show to use them to buy things that nobody needs from the internet, and it all ended up with a lot of hurt feelings and people getting kicked out of Judy’s house again all around.

People get so touchy about their favorite shows, it’s crazy.

Anyway though the whole thing got me thinking. When The Sopranos ended, they cut to black without any kind of resolution unless you count the resolution to Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing”, which is that you should “hold onto that feeling”. When people were like all ticked off and everything by this, the producers all came out and were like “This is to symbolize that Tony Soprano’s struggle never ends, it goes on and on and on. Strangers Waiting! Up and down the boulevard! STREETLIGHT PEOPLE!”

And then the angry crowd broke up and ran away because frankly the idea of “streetlight people” is kind of terrifying. They’d be all towering over you, shining down in your face and stuff with all these gross moths flying around their heads.

So what I mean by all that is that while the ending of The Sopranos might have worked, you know, on that artistic level, it did leave a lot of people hungry for more. So what I propose to the people at Ay Bee See who make Lost is, if they feel too much pressure to figure out how to wrap things up in just a few months, they should get together with the people at Aych Bee Oh and offer to let them use the hour-long finale to clear up exactly what happened at the end of The Sopranos. And then the next time somebody has a Much-Anticipated Season Finale, they can give it to Lost and take the next one, like a round-robin. This way everybody gets more time to think of a really good ending that doesn’t make the whole internet complain and also I think it would be a good way to get fans of different shows to come together in a spirit of peace and harmony and watching television.

TV people, what do you think?

On second thought I don’t really want to know. TV people sound almost as scary as the streetlight ones.

~Ariella Rasputin Wallflower

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010 at 8:38 am and is filed under Television. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.