Morning Sickness

Hey, guys. I’ve had a lot of court-appointed stuff on my mind lately so I haven’t really had time to write but I thought it was about time to whip out the old blog and do some blogging on the blogosphere.

Or just say the word “blog” which is kind of fun all by itself.

Blog blog blog blog blog blog turnip ketchup overdrive.

Whoops! I had it and then I lost it.

Anyway so I was watching this morning talk show this, um… morning? That sounds right. The segment was actually about a woman who looked like the bride of Skeletor telling a couple of normal looking women that they were unhealthy, but they also had a doctor giving Sound Medical Advice to everybody, like “There are no hard and fast rules but do exactly what I say or you will die.”

The key part of her Sound Medical Advice was to not eat any white foods. To me that just sounds like affirmative action, you know? If somebody went on TV and said don’t eat Chinese food or Indian food I think there would be an uproar but apparently it’s “fashionable” to bash white food? Okay, like that’s fair.

She specifically mentioned white rice, which is one of my favorite foods. Which kind of sucks because I’d kind of like to live forever, you know? And it’s really starting to sound like the medical community’s got this whole “death” thing figured out. I always figured they’d get the common cold taken care of first, but I’ve still got the sniffles so I guess not.

I think I’m covered on the rice, though, because I usually put salad dressing on it so it’s technically not white anymore.

Anyway, that’s all for now. I’m going to go see how much strawberry jelly it takes to colorize a piece of bread.

~Ariella Rasputin Wallflower

10 Responses to “Morning Sickness”

  1. Joy S. Daye says:

    What, so white people have to start pigmenting their skin? Aw crap.

  2. Ariella Rasputin Wallflower says:

    No no only if you plan on being eaten. See the color fills up your empty calories.

  3. Sharl says:

    Bride of Skeletor. Hee! ~giggles self silly~

  4. Tychomonger says:

    Is it okay if I call my band Turnip Ketchup Overdrive?

  5. Lindsay B. says:

    Aw, I guess we can’t eat caucasians anymore. Dang.

  6. Joy S. Daye says:

    Wait, am I supposed to put more food dye on my skin, or stop? I’m totally confused. Which makes it more likely I’ll get eaten?

  7. Aieon says:

    Uhh the bride of skeletor is eienen ouwhy aiengee.
    lolz @ turnipketchupoverdrive. blogblogblog.

  8. cityoflight says:

    Uhmmmmm; Ms ARW don’t hate me ’cause I’m an idiot who reads the papers and believes what stupid journalists say, but ummmm don’t you think you should invent a toothpick that tells people that being fat is ok as long as you don’t eat twinkies all day, cuz you know how stupid people are (yes, even I) , if you say its ok to be fat, those who pay attention to what they eat will react exactly as before except they will give in to say chocolate urges more often and end up with cholesterol or other bad fat related problems. So you know we should not tell people the whole truth (the same way it can be ok to say SURE trees exist and OF COURSE squirrels are cute) just to protect them. So yeah as long as you dont forget to bring a towel (cross that out, replacce with dont forget to be healthy in your daily activities) I’m 100% behind you

    Anyway the clipincoffe is just plain silly and anymoreway I had it first. So there.

    zigzag.

  9. Ariella Rasputin Wallflower says:

    Okay um first of all your fat is like that squishy stuff that’s between your skin and your muscles. Your cholesterol is in your blood so um like duh cholesterol is not a fat-related problem. If you That’s like a basic biography lesson. If you eat good and exercise and you’ll have good cholesterol even if you’re fat. If you don’t and you’re skinny you’ll have bad cholesterol. That’s what they call Aytch Ay Ee Ess. Look it up.

    Second, don’t you think people mostly get “chocolate urges” because of the idea that chocolate is a Very Bad Food that they can’t eat all the time so when it’s A Special Occasion or they’re Just Plain Craving It they go all out and eat a whole pound of Em And Ems or something? If you take away the idea that chocolate is A Very Bad Thing then it just becomes One More Food and you can take it or leave it.

    Though really you can take or leave any food, unless it’s paperclipped to you or something.

  10. Bonamy says:

    Impeach racist facist communist boy of the whore Obama NOW!

Leave a Reply