The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
Why do they only sell the best ice cream and stuff at Christmas?
I mean these days most stores carry the ice cream with litle bits of peppermint in it year round but when I was a kid the only time our little local grocery store had it was around Christmas and it’s still impossible to find the really good peppermint ice cream that’s all fancy and pink except at Christmas.
Same thing with a bunch of other stuff, too. Like do you know what I found when I was out shopping yesterday? Peppermint ice cream sandwiches! Yeah. For real. But just in case there was any doubt that they were For A Limited Time Only they were sitting next to some eggnog ice cream sandwiches which I didn’t quite trust the looks of.
Also there’s those really melty ice cream bars that don’t have any sticks or cookie parts or anything else to hold onto so they end up making a mess. You know the ones? Maybe the strawberry Santa head ice cream bars and the neopolitan snowman ones wouldn’t make much sense to keep for the rest of the year but what about the mint ones shaped like so-called Christmas “trees”? I mean according to the stories those “trees” are supposed to be green all year so why do they only sell them at Christmas?
Why bother putting a delicious frozen dairy confection on the market if you’re just going to yank it off the shelves?
Is that really any way to teach children the True Meaning Of Christmas, which according to the note I scribbled on my arm is “producing eggs that mature and hatch after being expelled from the body, as birds, most reptiles and fishes, and the monotremes.”
Wait. No.
That’s the true meaning of “oviparous”.
Why’d I write that there?
I’m going to go get another ice cream sandwich while I try to figure that out.
~Ariella Rasputin Wallflower
December 12th, 2007 at 7:09 pm
Yeah I know, totally! And then there’s the ones from the ice cream stores, the flavor of the month, like there used to be a white chocolate ice cream with chocolate covered cherries in it. They called it “winter wonderland” although it has nothing to do with winter. But it was sooo yummy!
And eggnog. I <3 eggnog!
December 12th, 2007 at 7:34 pm
Disturbingly I believe that this is actually the most coherent Wallflower Report I have read yet!
December 12th, 2007 at 8:24 pm
Ya all the good stuff goes away after the holidays… but then there is all the stuff for the other holidays…
December 13th, 2007 at 4:29 am
Ovaviviparous is a scary concept.
December 13th, 2007 at 9:07 am
Ariella Wallflower is a prophet, I worship everything she says. I have commenced destroying trees, as the first convert to her church of atreeism. That family wasn’t too happy when I broke into their house and torched the non-existent pinetree with tinsel and lights, but they need to understand that TREES AREN’T REAL!
The delusions these people live under! I’m heading to the mall next to get the message out. There’s this fat guy who convinces kids to take pictures with presents under the imaginary trees. Freak.
June 6th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Dude, I love those ice cream bars! And the best part is that I found them in the frozen treat section of the Walled Market… in April… :-p