The Wallflower Report

Sorry guys but I’ve got like a ton of stuff on my mind so I don’t have time to write an update for today.

Like I’m trying to figure out why it’s so hard to find iced animal crackers and if they still sell the regular animal crackers in the boxes that are supposed to look like a circus car or something and they’ve got the string so you can carry them slightly less awkwardly than if you were just carrying a box.

And when they say Diet Dr. Pepper tastes more like regular Dr. Pepper, do they mean that it tastes more like regular Dr. Pepper than it tastes like anything else, or that it tastes more like regular Dr. Pepper than anything else does?

And why do people ask you for a piece of paper? I almost always end up using a whole one. Then there’s the so-called stick of gum which is very clearly a plank. I have no idea when the next presidential election is but if it was any time soon and felons were allowed to vote I would definitely throw my support behind the candidate who wasn’t afraid to call a plank of gum a plank of gum. It takes guts you know? Or maybe instead of a presidential candidate it could be an action movie.

Like, “In a world that can’t tell a plank from a stick, one man has the gum-ption to stand up for the truth.”

I would totally vote for that movie to be president. You know, of movies.

Also if bananas are radioactive can you get in trouble for weaponizing them? Actually that one’s kind of important. I don’t need any more attention from Homeland Security right now.

So yeah. Big important thoughts are running around in my head. No time to write a blog post.

~Ariella Rasputin Wallflower

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 29th, 2007 at 10:47 am and is filed under Food. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.