The Wallflower Report

So I was thinking.

Wait that doesn’t sound right. What’s it called when you lie down in water and there’s all these foamy piles of bubbles on top of you?

Oh yeah. So I was taking a bubble bath and of course I don’t have a bath tub at my place because my place kind of switches between being the inside of my car and Paris’s couch, which meant I had to use Judy’s bath tub.

But I had barely been in there for three hours when Judy comes pounding on the door asking if I was almost done yet. Though the way the door muffled her voice it sounded more like “Get the fuck out of my bathroom.”

So I tell her, “Double-you-tee-eff, Judy… you don’t just walk in on somebody who’s taking a bath!”

And she’s like “I didn’t walk in on you, I’m still out here.”

So I’m like “I know you didn’t walk in on me, I just said that you don’t.” Like duh, right? And then I tell her “Face it Judy, the magic is gone from our marriage.”

And she’s like “What marriage? We broke up years ago!”

So I ask her “If we aren’t married then what was that thing at the courthouse with the judge and that piece of paper?”

And she’s like “That was a restraining order, Ari.” 

And then I’m like “I’m pretty sure there’s some states where those are both the same thing.”

And Judy’s all “Name one then.”

So then I’m like “Denial.”

That shut her up.

Well… it actually didn’t. But I can ignore that and pretend that it did.

Though sooner or later I’m going to have to come out of this bathroom.

~Ariella Rasputin Wallflower

This entry was posted on Friday, November 23rd, 2007 at 7:00 am and is filed under Bath Time. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.